POSITIVITY

 

WE ARE ALL A BUNCH OF PRETENDERS

Dear reader, would you classify yourself as someone who is always real or as a faker?

What I mean is, do you try to be “this person” to this person and “that person” to another or your lifestyle is consistent? Will Mr. A, B, C, D, and E describe you as an outgoing person, a giver and one who likes to help others or they will come up with a different description of you? It’s up to you to answer the question honestly.

The concern is: Why don’t we ever try to be real? Like, say things the way they are, show ourselves the way we are, and let the world see us for who we really are. Why do we give a shit about people so much that we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to be real?

You try not to air your opinions because people may say your view is different, you decide not to buttress a point because they may say “you talk too much. You don’t want to wear this dress because people may think this and that…” 

How many times do we fake a smile for a selfie?

Deep down, you don’t feel great but because you’re posting the picture for the world to see, you want to give them what they want so you shine your teeth, and gradually we are becoming better at pretending and faking it. But then, what happens when people try to keep it real by telling us how they really feel on social media? We say they are bringing personal matters to the gram. Isn’t it?

How about posting on your status, “I don’t feel great today”? Is there really anything wrong with that? How many of us really understand what Facebook means when it says, “What’s on your mind?”

We hardly post pictures of our food when it’s not attractive, but the moment you’re out with friends holding an ice-cream or have chicken laps sitting on your plate, you take a picture and upload it. We’re just pretenders. That’s who we are.

I want you to understand that it is okay to not be fine sometimes. It’s okay to be fed up with something. It’s okay to be frustrated about this and that, it’s okay to be angry.

But maybe we feel people will tag us as being weak that’s why we pretend. That’s why every time someone asks, “How are you?” the response is always “I’m fine” when really, you’re not.

We have to learn to keep it real. The fact that you’re trying to fake it really shows that you are not. You’re not happy but there you are staring into the mirror forcing yourself to smile. Just keep it real. It’s okay to be sad- accept it. That way you’re going to heal faster. Trying to be happy or fine when you’re not, only proves that you’re not. You don’t fake who you are. So, here we are, bottling up emotions and feelings because we think so much about people.

I’ve gone past the faking era, now I just wanna be real. Telling you I’m not fine doesn’t mean I expect you to make me fine, I’m just answering your question. 

How many people today can confidently say that their social media life is consistent with who they are in person? Many people are creating a false identity on social media. They create the image of themselves to be “this guy” and “that kind of lady” but when you meet them in person, there’s a big contrast.

We must all get to that point where we don’t give too many f*cks about what people think about us so we can live our best life. Love yourself for who you are, work on your weaknesses but don’t live your life trying to please people.

I like to show me the way I am to people to avoid any surprises later on. Of course, you can’t know everything about me in a day, but you’ll definitely get some clues. I won’t photoshop myself to suit you so you can like me. I enjoy being myself. If you don’t like me for who I am then park well. It’s your loss.

Many people are out there trapped in cages they built by themselves. They are not free to live, move, act, and love. They think so much about what people think thereby denying themselves the opportunity to live their best life.

If the reason you’re not doing things you really want to do is because of what people will say, my dear, you’re not free. Don’t get me wrong… if the reason you are not doing certain things is that God doesn’t approve, that’s a different thing and it’s commendable. But having this deep desire to do something but not doing it because you’re afraid people will judge you only show that you are caged and that you think too highly of yourself. You feel you are so important that people have the time to be thinking and talking about you. Who are you really? My friend, you need to be calming down.

Guess what? “People don’t even remember that you exist most of the time.” E shock you? 😅

Ogbeni, with all your pretense trying to please people and be a good boy or girl, some people still don’t like you. So, what are we saying? 😏

Of course, it’s not everything your head suggests to you that you do, you too use your brain but really, live your best life. My friend, wear that trouser if you wish, have that tattoo, plait the hair, have a second piercing, pierce the nose if you wish. It’s your body. As long as it’s not a sin and your conscience doesn’t judge you and it makes you feel good. Ogbeni! Do your thing.

Life is short to regret not doing things you love. Live your best life abeg!

"The world is full of ups and downs and so the people in it have been conformed to mask their pains, sorrows, discomfort and their shortcomings. This masking covers many angles of life such as emotionally, mentally, financially and professionally etcetera. People, also have been made to quieten their joy, that is, reduce the volume of their happiness and how comfortable they are to soothe themselves contradictorily or to fit into one thing or another. This mask remains on for so long and prevents people from truly living life the most original way, it also has stopped people from getting real help that they need to forge ahead and to be in denial on how much they already possess and ought to be grateful for." - Comet N.

I know some folks won’t agree with this perspective I shared here, it’s okay. I wrote this with y’all in mind. Guess what? I don’t care…! I felt like writing this and I did. Periodt! 😶

It just feels great to be free to express yourself. You should try being free. 

If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask. And if you have a different opinion, you can share it. I’d love to read it.

Thanks for stopping by.

Before you go, have you read my post about the lady who lived with her intestine outside her abdomen for three years? It's an inspiring story, you should read it here.