POSITIVITY

 

MANNERS MAKETH MAN

You are probably familiar with those words. I heard them myself some years ago while I was watching the movie: Kingsman The secret service. Anyway, that's not the discussion for today. Today's subject has been on my mind for a long time but I usually don't like talking about subjects around Love, dating, and relationships. I have my reasons sha. But today, I have decided to share a very vital lesson with you. I hope you get value from it and share after reading. 

It amazes me to see how with our words we set our own world ablaze. We light our world (experience) on fire with our tongue. Ignorance being a major factor and of course, the "I don't care and I no send attitude." The attitude that boasts in its weakness as a strength. When you hear someone say, "I no sabi talk o, I rude gan. Mo baje, I can say anything cos I no send." Those are the people I'm referring to.I hope you're not one of them? 😒

Dear Ladies, let's talk.

See, I believe it is an honor and privilege to have a fellow human being communicate their feelings to you. No matter what class you may fit them into, I feel you should HONOUR every man. Not because he is a male, but because he is HUMAN and because we ought to "treat others the way we would have them treat us."

From what I've learned, Emotional intelligence entails being aware of how your words, feelings, and action affects people around you. You shouldn't speak the way you feel, because speaking isn't for you, it’s for the other person. Rather, we ought to speak to be understood. If everyone speaks the way they feel, there will always be discord. Don't you think so?

It doesn’t matter if the guy is broke, razz, or just not your spec. Is he human? If yes, he deserves to be honored. His approach may be wrong, his dress sense may be zero, he may be illiterate but he's human. Honor him.

"Manners maketh man."

For you to start feeling overly important and prideful because a guy is asking you out is totally wrong. For some ladies, once a guy asks them out that's the beginning of their pride. That guy may not look important today but never underestimate or underrate anyone. He may be slow in speech, he may not have a good understanding of how to woo a lady, he may not know how to put his words together but that is not a yardstick to measure who he can become tomorrow.

You cannot date or marry every guy who approaches you, that’s for sure but you can determine how the conversation ends. It's important to have the right attitude. Asking you to date him is not the same as asking you for a favor. It’s a privilege. You are not doing him a favor if you say yes. Don't expect him to beg you. Well, I know some guys do this ‘begging thing’ because they have lost their self-worth. Yes! That’s how I see it.

You shouldn't beg someone to date or marry you, you should ASK. That is the right thing to do. If you know what you're carrying then you'll know it’s her loss if she says no. Don't go about begging for "just one chance" for you to prove yourself. What a shame. What are you proving?

People who know their worth doesn't even beg for jobs, they walk into interviews and offices to take a job. People who know what they carry ask for things, they don't go around begging. Even God doesn’t expect us to come to him begging, He wants us to ASK.

Dear ladies, Life is moving, you don't know where you can meet that person again in the future. And this life is really good at throwing surprises at us. Be careful.

If you don't like the guy, politely tell him it’s a No. If he can be a friend, let him understand you just want to be friends. Come down to his level to help him understand what No means, if that is what it takes. Nobody likes to get NO for an answer, so there's a likelihood that he still keeps asking you out even after you have said no. He may keep hoping that you will change your mind.

I know some guys can be a pain in the ass, yes. But remember to be honorable. You can say NO honorably, you can argue with someone honorably, you can even lay complaints honorably.

This is a vital lesson we must all learn. To always treat everyone with dignity and respect, you never know where and when your paths will cross again.

I know you may have one or two comments to make, please drop them. Perhaps there are other reasons why ladies act that way, I'd like to know and I'm sure others would like to know too.

Thank you for stopping by.

Adefila Tobatalks

Your Partner in Progress